I wake up screaming
Pupils dilated in darkness
Eyes opened wide
I battle for control
Slowly, the fear subsides
As noises around me
Once again become familiar.
I light a cigarette
My enemy, my friend
The flame temporarily blinds me
An already full ashtray
Sets upon my stomach
Resting on my grandma's quilt
I watch the ashtray move
Up and down and sideways
Paisley and Gingham pulsing
Replicating my heartbeat
Making me aware I'm breathing.
I hear the smoke
As it leaves me
Deafening in this quiet room...
Tapping, never flicking
Ashes upon ashes they topple
Prosaic hues of gray.
Studying the ashened cherry
My breath giving it life in the darkness
Its radiance warms the room
I think thoughts of nothing.
I hear my neighbor’s car start
My clock glowing digital truths
His retentive habits unfolding
A commuter’s lifestyle
His face remains unknown.
I smile in amusement
At his penchant for punctuality
His engine cuts through morning
As I lay still and listen
He shifts into a life that's his
Leaving me alone, again
to finish my cigarette.
by Adrianne Hurtig

Adrianne Hurtig has decided she's at the "do or die" life stage. She's taken the plunge and has begun to submit writings she's been hacking away at since she learned the alphabet. She's the mother of 8 & 2 step-sons plus the proud grandma of 8. Available for social engagements, cocktail parties and witty conversation!
Very moving, a brilliant insight into your soul. Thanks for posting that, Adrianne!
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